A devotee asked this question to Anandmurti Gurumaa -Whenever I face some problem I go for sex. But soon I feel guilty as it comes to my mind that I have acted in a wrong way and the relief that i get from sex is for a very short period. How should I control my urge for sex?

Gurumaa says that sex can be controlled only by dealing with the problems and not by running away from the problems. This can be done by settling down the thought process of one’s mind. One needs to learn to live life with wisdom.

The sense of relaxation or relief that one feels after sex is for a very short period and therefore there is no point going for it just for solving a problem. One should face the problem bravely and should have all the courage to solve it, only then life can be lived with wisdom.

So how does one attain such wisdom? In order to live the life with wisdom one needs to understand the way to control the urge for sex and direct it towards a healthy direction.

Gurumaa says that the urge for sex arises due to secretion of hormones from our glands that are being run by Hypothalamus and pineal. We should not consider it as a problem and should keep ourselves busy in something wonderful, creative and productive. This would channelize our energy in a positive direction.

For related videos and detailed discourses regarding how to control urge for sex click here.

For achieving a balanced hormonal secretion and better control over the body, Gurumaa has suggested practicing Surya Namaskar yogasana and half an hour of Pranayam everyday.

There are many other effective Pranayam techniques suggested by Gurumaa like Bhastrika Pranayam and kapalbhati.

The aim of Bhastrika pranayam is to keep the inhalation cycle equal to exhalation cycle and this process comprises of breathing deep inwards and long exhalation outwards with equal time intervals.

Whereas, in Kapalbhati pranayam the main stress is upon short and strong forceful exhalations and inhalation just happens naturally.

Gurumaa has explained thoroughly these two techniques, to learn how these should actually be done, click here.

By regularly following, these guidelines one can divert the thoughts of his mind towards positivity.

Additional Resources

1) Directing Mind from Constant Thoughts of Sex towards Positivity

How can we divert a mind that always thinks about sex and other nonsense things towards positivity? Gurumaa says that sex is not bad, but always thinking about sex is bad.

For example, we eat food when we are hungry and similarly we drink water only as and when we feel thirsty, but we don’t keep doing it the whole day.

Gurumaa says that the urge for sex is nothing more than a chemical process of a brain and also explains the ways to manage one’s brain. To know more on what Gurumaa says about how to manage our brain, click
here.

2) Going Beyond The Mind

One also needs to go beyond his mind to actually understand its complexities. For detailed discourses on how one can go beyond his mind, click here.

3) Understanding Mind and Sex

To go beyond the bondage of sex, one needs to understand the complex relationship between mind and sex first.

Gurumaa has extensively expounded about Evolutionary stages, Emotions, Relationships, Marriage and Sex in the special issue “Mind and Sex” that helps to know and understand more about complexities of The Mind and its relationship with Sex.

Gurumaa answers that by having good diet, exercise and sleep, the body regains the semen that is vital for its proper sustenance and well-being. So, there is no need to worry about that or to do anything else for regaining the lost semen due to masturbation.

The nature has set the human body in such a way that it restores the normal balance of semen required by the body for good health and well being. It is only due to indulging in excesses that this balance is disturbed.

Besides that she says that masturbation is just a means of temporary self-gratification and just provides a temporary relief. It cannot provide permanent happiness and freedom from deep rooted desires, lust and cravings.

For that one has to enter into deep meditation. In deep meditation one gets centered with his real being and gets great orgasmic joy that is not dependent on external objects or situations. This is the key to permanent joy and bliss.

On being asked by a seeker whether it is better to indulge into desires and senses or control them, Gurumaa explains in depth the 3 stages a man can be in. These 3 levels are -

1) The Animal State
2) The Human State
3) The Divine State

In the animal state, there is not much of a need to control the sense desires. As can be seen in the animal world, they fulfill the desires that come out through their instinct, as they get the opportunity. For example, a dogs eat when they are hungry, mate when their natural cycle is on and sleep when sleepiness dawns on them. There is no thinking involved, it is all a set natural pattern.

There is no right or wrong, no ethics that govern them, just the natural cycle that dominates their actions. In fact, they do not have a mind that might decide whether it is appropriate or not to indulge into any act.

The human state goes beyond this first level, as there is a mind and intellect that can decide what is appropriate and what is not appropriate. For example, while eating, we do not just eat what comes in front of us, but we check whether the food is hygienic, nutritious and tasty, and then only we consume it. So, we have the choice to decide which desires and senses to indulge into and which ones to avoid. But, the desires still bind us every now and then.

The third level is the divine state. The person is this state has understood that he/she is beyond the mind, body and senses. He knows that the body needs food to stay healthy and the sense doors are just the windows through which he makes contact with the outer world.

He understands that the senses can only provide joy and satisfaction to a limited degree, and cannot give a glimpse of the ultimate truth. So, he attains a state of being that is beyond the senses and desires. He also fulfils the needs and requirements of the body, mind and the senses, but is not dominated by them. This frees him from all the suffering and misery.

Discover in this video how you can achieve this state of freedom from sensual desires and cravings, while achieving a state of permanent blissfulness.

Gurumaa elucidates an ancient yogic breathing technique that helps not only to overcome the desires of lust, but also help in our spiritual evolution through the awakening of the chakras that are lying dormant within us.

True mastery over the self can be achieved only if we are able to use sex as a tool and are a master of the desires, feelings and emotions arising within us. And not the other way round – that we can carried over and are overpowered by the desires and feelings of greed, lust, anger, etc that arise in us.

Gurumaa gives us the master-key on how we can achieve this freedom from such urges. It’s amazing to see how yogic breathing technique is so effective in mind control, anger management and stress relief too!

Adolescents and teenagers have this curiosity to know whether it is appropriate to be involved in friendship and deeper relationships with their opposite sex. Here is an amazing video where Gurumaa imparts the essential wisdom for adolescents.

Gurumaa says that it is definitely healthy for boys and girls to be friendly with each other; but it is much healthier to restrict it to friendship only.

She explains the reasons why relationships at this tender age are not stable and permanent, how the hormonal secretions can play havoc in your life if not managed properly and what is the right approach to come out as a winner during this crucial age.

Discover in this video the secret on how to achieve the best of all worlds – wealth, health, mental calmness, success, friendship, career and relationships.

Anandmurti Gurumaa shares her deep insights in response to a question put up by a student on the phenomenon of homosexuality. She talks about the progressive evolution that takes place naturally in the life of all individuals.

This evolution is the shifting of the point of attraction in life, which takes place in 4 stages –

1) At the child stage, the attraction is towards the self. Very young children like to play by themselves are more focused on themselves. They are very possessive about their toys.

2) As children grow older, they are attracted to the company of children of the same sex and like to play with them. Boys like the company of boys and girls like the company of girls.

3) As they enter the stage of adolescence, the attraction towards the opposite sex grows and this culminates into the relation of love and marriage. This is what is generally referred to as “Heterosexual Relationship”.

4) Gurumaa talks about a fourth stage that is higher than the third stage…which she calls “True Celibacy”. It is a point of bliss that is found in the company of our true self and where there is no more craving of the other. This is the highest stage of evolution a person can reach.

Now, homosexuality is when a person does not evolve beyond the second stage. Their attraction and friendship stays concentrated with just the people of the same gender.

According to Gurumaa, friendship between a guy and a guy and a girl and a girl is not bad. But, being stuck at that point is not normal and not progressing forward is not the natural flow of life.

Gurumaa shows how one can progress on in life and achieve higher states of consciousness and blissfulness.